yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
