Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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