I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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