Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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