Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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