I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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