Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
