"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
