did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
