is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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