dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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