The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
