I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
