Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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