hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
