I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
