More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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