I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
