Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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