think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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