Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
