i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
