i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
