enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
