It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
