Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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