4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
