White coat. Heels.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
