I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize