She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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