would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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