half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This is classic penis vs brain.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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