good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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