We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
