i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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