There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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