If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
