i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
