White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
