is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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