he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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