woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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