Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
