fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
