How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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