do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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