Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
