Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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