I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
pop tarts are not kleenex
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
