I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you never un-have a 4some
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
