I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
