I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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