We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
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Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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