I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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