Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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