Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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