Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
