Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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