I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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