her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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