Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
