found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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