yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
